Monday, 8 December 2014

Holding On When You Want to Let Go.

If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading. Lao Tzu

There has been a prolonged silence from Eiffel tells – nothing said since  mid September.
Dreaming of more of this and ...............

Pourqui you ask? A lot of self-reflection and soul searching has been going on here.

Too many years of multi-tasking and angst have taken their toll...... Then there is my newly acquired tinnitus as well as a few other body parts that no longer function properly, creating daily tests for my patience; nothing life threatening, but niggling enough to make me review where I am and where I would like to be at this stage of my life. 

Definitely time for a change of direction. 

After much thought, and unsolicited advice from friends who have already trodden similar paths, I've decided the best course of action would be to change from full time employment to part time, and further develop the skills I need in order to “follow my passions” .

......... and this 
As a mother and wife who has had a career, I’ve put the interests and needs of those whom I love, my friends and my employer first, leaving very little time or emotional energy for myself. Now it’s time for me – in theory, but alas not in practice.

Last month, my employer refused my request to work part time next year– an unusual response as many of my colleagues already have part-time status and most of those who applied concurrently with me to reduce their hours of work, were granted their requests. There has been no explanation for my application being refused. A compromise appears to be feasible, but it’s not to be an option – for me. I have been with my current employer for 25 years.

I haven’t the courage to resign, and to be honest, I’m not sure if it’s feasible and will not know for quite some months. What would you do if you were me – cautious, and nearing the end of your professional life with a burning desire to change direction, but lacking the knowledge or confidence to do so?

Yes, I know I am fortunate to have such a dilemma, but I am no ‘spring chicken’ and the other hens of my age have already flown the coop. It’s lonely being the oldest chicken on my perch and I’m being sapped of energy just by trying to hold on to the damn thing.


Marie Z Johnston said...

Women in midlife transition is quite the thing! The only way to move to the future is by letting go of the past! So, pick the reason that feels right to you...
With love, Marie

Karena Albert said...

Dear friend, I saw your comment at Vicki's and came right over. I am so sorry about your request being denied. Somehow I believe an alternative will present itself...I was pretty much forced to retire before I the workplace is not easy out there!

I wish you and yours all the best during the holiday season! Come by if you can!
The Arts by Karena

DREAMS ON 34th STREET ~ French Bread & Family said...


I was so hoping your blog would let me comment! I had some difficulty in the past.

This post spoke to me.
I too, am the oldest chicken...

I can feel the loss of energy as I am 62. The affordable healthcare act is taking away jobs all around me. Various departments are being contracted out, and the EPIC system is wiping out jobs.
I had hoped to work until 65 to pay off the last of the student loans.

It sounds like your employer is forcing you to make "the retirement" decision.
Are the associates that were granted part time, younger than you? I cannot fathom "age discrimination"... I know most employers are very careful about it.

If you can afford to retire, I would.
Your health and well being is of most importance.

If I am forced out...I will begin my own business, and care for my aging parents.

I know this sounds soooo cliche'...but when a door closes...there is always a window. I truly believe it!

I always love it when you pop in to 34!
My thoughts and prayers are with you, as you go through this transition.

Martina said...

Thank you for your lovely comment on my blog! Just read your post - and, what i would do is - start with small changes. Maybe give some more time to treat and pamper yourself, maybe take a new class in the evening or going for a little walk. And holding the picture of having more time for yourself in your inner vision. Dream about it, picture it - maybe it becomes reality. Also, consider it as a big colpliment, your boss wants to hang on to you - you'te special!

weekend et coup de brosse said...

J'aime beaucoup ton blog et merci de tes visites sur le mien !

Rosemary-Thyme said...

Oh Elizabeth, you must be feeling so many emotions. It is a very tough decision to make but it is one that you must make with an open heart and mind. If you are able to follow your dream career without causing any financial difficulties for yourself, and hurting any retirement plans tgat your employer offers you, then by all means, go straight forward without looking back. We must all do what makes our souls happy but give it some thought. The right answer will be in your heart when you are ready.

Good look and happy holidays.


Valerie said...

Oh Elizabeth - I do feel for you. While respecting that everyone's circumstances are unique and therefore available choices are different, I found it wonderfully liberating to have chosen to move on from my enjoyable career of 50 years. While very grateful for the experiences afforded me over those years, it became time to change gears. Yes, adjustments in many areas are required, but rewards of a different kind inevitably reveal themselves, and I have no regrets. I wish you courage to make whatever decision is right for you. Embrace it!

Burlap Luxe said...

Oh Elizabeth, I hear you, and perhaps the request being denied was due to you being ill-replaceable !
As for the tinnitus, I suffer with it as well, even the pressure of fullness in the ear, ringing, roaring and annoying! On the tinnitus issue reduce sodium in you diet count every gram in every food item, keep it at no more then 1,500 mil grams a day, and what's anything process.
Do you get the dizziness along with it? It will help when you lower the sodium, and take bioflavonoids vitamins .

As for the job, if you can afford to cut back then do so, the stree on you will aggregate your health. I think you have to be firm in your request, and perhaps try a temporary leave to part time, give it a try and see if it's a good fit for you.
And perhaps you could even do some creative work from home that allows you to look into something that allows you to be creative for yourself. Perhaps you push your employers hand a bit more in the direction of writing up a new work plan for you, and when he or she sees you are serious he or she boss will take you more ceriousely and grant you your request.

Part time sounds like a great move for you and your health. It would be comforting to you if you could work part time. Who knows perhaps part time work would then convince you to then retire of sorts and try your hand at doing something from home that allows an income yet more on your terms :))

I hope your boss grants you this request, and you can fulfill your dreams, and give yourself a bit more attention.

Thank you beautiful for opening up with your common work issue, and recognizing that you need some time for yourself, this opens all of our eyes up to meeting our needs, in one way or another.

Thank you for stopping by, and visit the French Theatre over at my place. You are a doll!

Happy Holidays,
AJoyeux Noël



Decor To Adore said...

Oh you do have quite a bit on your plate now. I will be thinking of you and keeping you in prayer.

My deep heartfelt wish is that you will find your answer and have calm in your heart.

May you also have a holiday season filled with peace, joy and love.

Happiness an health to you and yours in the new year!

At Rivercrest Cottage said...

Just happened upon this post while I was reading backwards in your blog. Made me wonder how it all turned out? In 2007 I had back surgery with two fusions and quit out of the blue. I was 57. Ten years later and I look back on it as the best decision I made. I used up 6 months of sick leave and then retired at a reduced amount. It turned out that staying home without the costs of working was easier than I expected. In the long run my retirement check took a hit, but my health is better for it. Hope it all worked out well for you.