An Unfortunate Event - Kiss and Tell?

Despite being brought up in the Presbyterian church, I have a need to confess my wrong doings. Perhaps it's a legacy of my distant Catholic ancestors (whose allegiance to the Holy Roman church abruptly ended when my great-grand father took to a priest with a shovel).    
     

1 hour ago, I badly dented the rear right-hand side of Roger, my husband's beloved black Land Rover Discovery. .......He is yet to find out. I am riddled with guilt and just can't summon up the courage to tell him, so I am confessing to you with the bizarre hope that it will alleviate some of my remorse. 

Yes I am a coward. There is no one to blame but myself - one sedentary brick gate-pillar and one moving car . I wish I could report that Roger lightly caressed the gate post as he passed it, but unfortunately the encounter was more like a French kiss..... involving 2 interlocking tongue rings. Merde! 

The internet informs me that extensive repairs to one back panel and one side panel of a metallic coloured Land Rover is equivalent in price to the renovations of our bathroom in France. Mon Dieu....... And I can't covertly locate the relevant insurance policy, due to The Husband's unique filing system. Consequently I don't know the nuances of our insurance cover and my possible out-of-pocket expenses.  Perhaps I'll be bathing in a bucket when we eventually get to stay in My French Folly?  The appropriate businesses which could remove the evidence of my wrong doings are closed for the weekend .......my stomach is "in knots".

Poor Roger, poor Husband. And financially poor me..........?

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth or married.

Photographs courtesy of Land Rover